Are we ever prepared for goodbye?

Eleven days ago I received the call I’d been expecting for a very long time.

“Come to the nursing home. Now.”

I asked no questions. I simply got in the car and drove.  I’ve gotten a few calls like this over the last few years. My hubby’s even gotten used to me dropping everything and rushing out the house. Each time, I’ve come home, crisis averted, and carried on with everyday life.

This time, life did not carry on. I didn’t even make it to the nursing home before finding out this very sad fact. I found out in my car, while driving there.

“I’m sorry, love,” the nurse said simply. “Your mum’s just passed away.”

It shouldn’t have been a surprise. I should have known it was coming.

I did know. And I thought I was prepared. Turns out, I wasn’t. I guess, no matter how much warning you have, you can never be prepared for the death of a parent.

My mother has been ill for three years. For the last year, she’s been very, very sick. Still no matter how bad it got during this time, she fought. She fought like a damn trooper. She hung on with everything she had. No matter how many crises she faced (and there were a lot), she simply took another breath and carried on fighting. There is not another person I know who could have, or would have, fought so hard.

I assumed she’d fight through this night as well.

But there comes a time when there’s no point fighting anymore. When dying is a better option than living. And for my very brave mother, who’d fought so hard and so long, living was no longer the better option. This time, she didn’t face a crisis. She simply chose the better option.

It didn’t take long. After three years of fighting, it took just a few minutes and she slipped away.

She’s in a better place now. Doesn’t stop the heart ache or heart break that’s left behind.

Maybe I’ll stop being sad…some day.

Be free, ma.

Be happy, be heard, and soar.

You can now.

Full House: Available at last

Wahooo. It’s out. It’s available. You can get your copy now.

FULL HOUSE has released at Samhain.

So, in case you missed the last 25 posts on the subject, here is a little intro to Full House, and a spicy excerpt…

FULL HOUSE: THE BLURB

A full house beats a pair any day.

It’s been a long, lonely business trip for diamond dealer Max Ashberg. He’s missed his lover like crazy, and he’s come to the realization that he’s ready to take the next step: nominate himself to be Trev’s new housemate. Except when he gets to Trev’s place, there’s someone living in “his” room. A woman—with the face of an angel.

Six weeks shouldn’t make a huge difference in a man’s life, but in that time lawyer Trev Greenfield has realized two things: He wants much more than a standing Friday night “date” with Max. And he’s falling heart-over-head for his new housemate, potter Grace Miles.

Grace never meant to fall for Trev, but when a power failure turns their chemistry into live electricity, there’s no denying the spark. There’s also no denying the shock when Grace discovers a naked man in her new home.

With Grace poised to run and Max teetering between confusion and growing lust for the delicious possibilities, Trev has his hands full trying to hold the two loves of his life together…before it all slips through his fingers. Leaving them all with shattered hearts.

Warning: There’s a lot of sex in this book. I mean a lot! Hot sex. Sweaty sex. Gay sex. Straight sex. Ménage sex (M/M/F and M/F/M).  Oh, and romantic sex. Lots of romantic sex. Hot romantic sex. Sweaty romantic sex. Gay romantic sex… You getting the picture?

FULL HOUSE: AN EXCERPT

(Warning: Do not read if you are under 18!)

Max grabbed his keys and made for the door, anxious to get out of the house, yet reluctant to walk away. He had to get away from Trev, and he never wanted to leave his fucking side.

Jesus, he was a mess.

He didn’t make it outside. An iron fist clamped around his shoulder, physically preventing him from leaving. To anyone watching, it probably looked like a friendly clap on the back.

It wasn’t.

Des, Alex and Megan left, followed by the terrible trips.

Trev sent them all on their way with happy farewells and a carefree grin. Then he slammed the door shut behind them, slammed Max into the door and kissed him until Max dropped his keys, gasped for air and burned for the man torturing him with his mouth.

“You don’t walk away from me,” Trev exploded. Without waiting for Max’s reply, he yanked his shirt over his head. “You don’t get to spend six weeks out the country, then come back and fuck with my mind. Or my body.” He grabbed Max’s shirt around the neckline and jerked it up, trying to get it off. “You understand me?”

The rasp of cotton ripping should have shocked Max, but it didn’t. It just aroused him more, which shouldn’t have been possible, since that one kiss from Trev had him full to bursting. “Who’s fucking with who?” he shot back. “You said we had to talk, not me. You told me you were out.”

Trev growled and tore the shirt in two so it hung like a rag from his shoulders. Then he was back, crushing his lips over Max’s and pressing his naked abs against Max’s stomach.

Holy fucking hell.

This was what he wanted. This was all he wanted. Trev, so hot for him he didn’t stop to think out the consequences of his actions.

Trev wrenched his mouth away. “I told Des I was out, you stupid dickhead. And so what if we need to talk? You don’t tell me you have wet dreams about me and then leave. Ever. Jesus, if I had my way, you’d never leave.”

Never? The word made him see stars, made the world spin.

“You think I’d rather have a wet dream than fuck you for real?” Max grabbed Trev’s ass and hauled him even closer, ramming their cocks together.

Trev kissed him, again and again, each kiss harder and more intimate than the last. They made Max’s heart soar and his dick ache.

Trev’s irritation and Max’s frustration gave way to sizzling passion as they rocked against each other. The heat between the two of them could have started a fire.

It did start a fire. Max was in flames, so hot, so ready, so fucking in love, he couldn’t stand it. He flattened his hands against Trev’s lower back and slid them under the waistband of his jeans and undies until he held his hot, hard buttocks.

Jesus fucking Christ. This was it. This was what he wanted. Trev’s nude flesh against his.

And then hands were moving, fingers were busy. Belts came off and jeans flew through the air.

“Bedroom! Now,” Max demanded. He would have taken Trev right there on the carpeted floor, would have claimed him forever, if not for the fact he’d arrived here empty-handed. No condoms or lube. And for what he had in mind, they needed both. In copious amounts.

“Bedroom,” Trev agreed and wrapped his hand around Max’s cock.

“Trev…” The breath exploded out of him, and then they were kissing again. Kissing and moving, racing through the house in their urgency to get to Trev’s bed. Trev knocked into a doorframe but didn’t seem to notice, and Max refused to release his lips long enough to ask if he was okay. He’d check later. With his mouth.

—————

Full House is available now at Samhain Publishing.

And it’s on sale. You can purchase it for $2.45!

http://store.samhainpublishing.com/full-house-p-6300.html

Happy reading.

Jess

Back from RT 2011

Yep, I’m home, and would love to post a long newsy blog about RT, but honestly, jet lag is setting in (in a big way) and the computer screen is swaying before my eyes.

So, instead of telling you everything now, and messing up the blog post, I’m gonna take the liberty of directing you to Jayne Rylon’s Blog.
She has some brilliant piccies up that just highlight the amazing time we had.

I promise to return in a couple of days, when my thoughts are clearer, and Full House has released, and tell you more.

In the meantime, click here for Jayne’s blog.

Jess