So, Viv Arend just sent this through. Her hubby sent it to her. I thought it was hilarious, and had to share.
Before you order a drink in public, you should read this! Seven New York City bartenders were asked if they could ‘nail’ a woman’s personality based on what she drinks. Though interviewed separately, they concurred on almost all counts. The results:
PART A: WOMEN-DRINKS, WHO THEY ARE, & YOU!
Personality: Causal, low-maintenance; down to earth.
Your Approach: Challenge her to a game of pool.
Drink: Blender Drinks
Personality: Flaky, whiny, annoying; a pain in the ass.
Your Approach: Avoid her, unless you want to be her cabana boy.
Drink: Mixed Drinks
Personality: Older, more refined, high maintenance, has very picky taste; knows EXACTLY what she wants.
Your Approach: You won’t have to approach her. If she’s interested, she’ll send YOU a drink……
Drink: Wine (does not include White Zinfandel)
Personality: Conservative and classy; sophisticated yet giggles.
Your Approach: Tell her you love to travel and spend quiet evenings with my friends.
Drink: White Zinfandel
Personality: Easy; thinks she is classy and sophisticated, actually, she has NO clue.
Your Approach: Make her feel smarter than she is..this should be an easy target.
Personality: Likes to hang with pals and looking to get totally drunk… and naked.
Your Approach: Easiest hit in the joint. You have been blessed. Nothing to do but wait, however, be careful not to make her mad!
No explanations required – everyone just KNOWS what happens there.
PART B: MAN-DRINKS & WHO THE MEN ARE!
THEN, there is the MALE addendum — The deal with guys is, as always, very simple and clear cut:
Domestic Beer: He’s poor and wants to get laid.
Imported Beer: He likes good beer and wants to get laid.
Wine: He is hoping that the wine will give him a sophisticated image to help him get laid.
Whiskey: He doesn’t give a damn about anything but getting laid.
Tequila: He is thinking he has a chance with the toothless waitress.
White Zinfandel: He’s gay
(Oh, and by the way…Mari Carr read this and then commented that she is a beer drinker. Now I don’t know what to read in to that, but I’m just saying…)